One of the taglines of this website and a key to happiness that I have discovered is to hold leashes, not hands. Here is a video illustrating this:

Anybody who owns a dog will undoubtedly agree that they sleep best when they’re next to their dog and not with their human partner.  This applies to men and women as determined by a study from MayoClinic.  Further research has shown that this especially applies to women. You can read the study here by Canisus College in Buffalo, New York .  The research goes into a lot of theories as to why dogs make better sleeping partners than humans do, or even cats. Some of the reasons the article explains are:

  • Dogs naturally adapt to our schedules better than another human does. My dogs don’t even try to wake me up. They patiently wait until I’m awake.
  • Dogs provide us with stronger feelings of safety than a cat or a human (especially deep-sleeping humans). Many dogs will alert us to noises or sounds that we otherwise wouldn’t hear.

Dog Sleeping in Bed

But I think it’s a lot simpler than this and I’ve been saying this for a long time. Many of the qualities and traits that we expect a human partner to have, many humans do not in the long run. But dogs do. And when we look to humans to fulfill our emotional needs, this sets us up for major disappointment, heartbreak and drama (and sometimes expensive lawyers).

You see – a relationship fails when the gap between reality and expectations are too big. We tend to project what we want our partners to be onto them instead of realizing or accepting what they actually are. 

Most humans have a difficult time being monogamous over the long term because let’s face it – monogamy is really difficult. Plus people have varying levels of selfishness which is totally fine when they are self-aware about it. There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first, but when you commit to a relationship, you need to take another person’s feelings, emotions and needs into account. This is very difficult to do day-in, day-out, which is why people in a relationship sometimes need a break.

Enter microcheating, where you kinda wanna cheat but you’re worried about getting caught so you don’t really cheat but you still are cheating. Raise your hand if you microcheated! Those of you not raising your hand are probably lying lol.

microcheating
Is she microcheating? Leave your answer in the comments!

Microcheating includes common behaviors and thoughts like:

  • Let me just download Tinder for an hour just to see what else is out there
  • Let me just send a few sexy pics to another person but only above the waist
  • Let me just text a few people to see if I can get some favorable responses just to know if I still got it
  • Let me just hang out with my attractive colleagues and clients because I want to but tell my significant other that I am staying out late for a work event
  • Let me just message my ex this one time to wish her a happy birthday but really because I want to see if I am still in
  • Let me just slide into her DMs one time to see if I get a response

You know who doesn’t microcheat? A dog.

good dogs
Dogs don’t microcheat

A dog provides most of the traits that we want from another human, but are almost impossible to get from a human over the long term due to a number of factors like the spark dying, someone more attractive/younger/fitter coming along, less responsibilities, financial problems, etc. Plus, humans innately like novelty so I believe it’s just a matter of time for at least one person in a relationship to microcheat if not full on cheat. Sad face. Communicate people! Communication will prevent and solve most relationship issues!

Back to dogs.

Raindrop and Flex
Me sleeping peacefully with my pack

Dogs satisfy almost all of our emotional needs. And they do it consistently. Forever. Until death. Yours or theirs. How many humans say the famous expectation of “til death do us part” but then reality hits and it’s “til a younger, hotter woman do us part” or “til a more financially secure gentleman do us part.” Dogs are so innately loyal they don’t have to make empty promises. They just deliver.

Just this year in Thailand,  a dog waited on the same road where he lost his owners for 4 years until they were reunited . And let’s not forget Hachiko who has a statue erected in his honor in Tokyo, Japan.

Hachiko

Dogs vs Humans

I decided to compare a dog’s behavior to a human’s behavior to illustrate the difference.

  Dogs Humans
loves you unconditionally X
doesn’t talk back X
loyal X
always happy to see you X
always misses you when you’re gone X
doesn’t cheat X
doesn’t secretly use dating apps X
doesn’t have exes X
loves cuddling in bed X
adapts to your sleeping schedule X
doesn’t steal the blankets X
cheap mouth to feed X
great at eye contact X
communicates wonderfully X
doesn’t lie X
listens to commands X
trainable X
can sense when you’re sick X
can sense when you’re sad X
will do what you want to do whenever you want to do it X
genuinely happy to be with you X
won’t look for someone better X
thinks you’re the greatest person in the world X

Dogs simply are the better companion. Change my mind.

Married people

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Do you agree that dogs make better sleeping companions?

Leave a comment or you can e-mail me adam@befreemysheeple.com. If you enjoyed reading/watching this, you can follow me on Instagram, @adamfrancisco & @befreemysheeple.

Be Free My Sheeple!